Finding Myself in South Korea...

I think one of the things I have been lacking in my life is the knowledge of who I am. It's not something you can put into words or descriptions, but rather, into feelings. It's when you are the most comfortable with yourself and who you are, regardless of what your circumstances in life may be and the way others may treat you. It's when you know how to be your best, how to stay at your best, and how to never criticize yourself for your short comings and petty mistakes...

I think that is something I have yet to get close to.

But I was thinking the last couple of days. I was thinking about how Korea just might help me get a teensy bit closer to finding myself, closer than I would ever have gotten had I stayed home in my comfort zone for the rest of my life: Florida. Sure, reflection and meditation helps, but how can you reflect if you have no experience to reflect on?

I think that the best thing I can do right now is stay positive and go with the flow, not against it. I was walking down the street today and I realized something: I'm in KOREA! I know that sounds silly, because it's a no duh statement, but I think a part of me has been fighting the culture a little bit. I feel like a part of me has been in denial. I think I need to adjust a little faster and immerse myself a little deeper into what is around me. The only problem is the immense amount of anxiety I get interacting with other Koreans. I can't help but question myself and avoid communication with Koreans as much as I can, simply because I suck at it and I feel like every time I fuck up with the language or the customs, I'm being judged horribly as a silly "waygook" (foreigner in Korean) who needs to learn Korean. I want to blend in, not stand out. But I think that might be a part of the problem. How am I supposed to know myself if I am trying to be like everyone else?

Anyway, a little reflection here, I guess. I wish I could write more blog posts, but I noticed that ever since I came to Korea, free time has become almost non-existant... unless I plan to get 3  hours of sleep a night... aiiiy...... that may be tonight...